Nobody Likes Onions

NLO 793: Tradesmen
(Thu, 17 May 2012 08:01:18 +0000)  KEN BARNARD is in the studio for an awesome Wednesday show. We talk to a caller who is 18 and drunk, and also kicked his father out of the house with a machete. We talk to his friend who works at a KFC. Patrick offers to help people quit their shitty jobs. We are headed [...]

NLO 792: Liquid Courage
(Tue, 15 May 2012 09:25:26 +0000)  AL JACKSON is back in Los Angeles and back in the studio! We’re talking about money and how no one has it. We’re talking about swastikas and what cool symbols they are. Al thinks his son is a genius. Patrick was a bad kid and contemplated building a bomb. The alcohol in the studio is [...]

NLO 791: Lady Buggin’
(Sat, 12 May 2012 09:22:57 +0000)  BRANDT TOBLER and JOSH DENNY are in the studio. Patrick talks about fans – specifically two fans who sent in things he didn’t ask for – a crafty bracelet that doesn’t fit his fat wrists, and a box of three hundred live lady bugs. Yes. Live bugs by mail. We watch the latest video from [...]

NLO 790: Sibling Overload
(Thu, 10 May 2012 08:55:01 +0000)  Patrick is in the studio solo today. He talks about apartment hunting, credit scores, potential future studios, an episode of True Life where people have way too many kids, irresponsible parents, and more. We check out the video of a comedian who can’t talk and wonder why he is even a thing. We check out [...]

NLO 789: Sullivan and Sons
(Tue, 08 May 2012 08:19:14 +0000)  Comedians RYAN DALTON and CORNELL REID are in studio, and we’re all drinking scotch and having more fun than you. Ryan is in town because he thinks he’s a big TV star now. On cable. Cornell is awesome enough to pull off sunglasses inside. We talk about two idiots that got hit by a car [...]

NLO 788: Harry Plotter
(Sat, 05 May 2012 18:31:20 +0000)  JOSH DENNY is in the studio, along with fans Josh, Sheldon and Rob from Phoenix. The guys brought in a ton of awesome vinyl decals that they made as part of their new business. They’re amazing, and they will all be for sale in the new NLO store. We talk about our adventure to the [...]

NLO 787: Taken Teeth
(Thu, 03 May 2012 06:17:58 +0000)  RYAN STOUT makes his return to the studio. We are talking about comedy a bit, and being offended. Patrick can’t find any pillows that make his head happy. We learn about a crazy woman dentist who took out all her exes teeth. Why is Allstate monopolizing all of Mayhem’s time? And why are there so [...]

NLO 786: Age of Aquarius
(Tue, 01 May 2012 02:55:01 +0000)  KEN BARNARD is in the studio, with fan Chris G. Patrick is back from Florida and has tons of stories about the flights and hotel he was staying in. He calls the hotel to try to get to the bottom of their issues, but only gets met with indifference. We watch a video that tries [...]

NLO 785: Communal Meats
(Wed, 25 Apr 2012 11:52:54 +0000)  Patrick is heading to Florida to attend to some personal matters, and that means he is still broke. The hits keep on coming in 2012. JOSH DENNY is in the studio to talk about it. We went to see the movie Cabin in the Woods, and it’s horrible. We get really racist in this show, [...]

NLO 784: Delivery Debacle
(Mon, 23 Apr 2012 03:13:11 +0000)  Patrick and Josh do a show from high above the Vegas strip in their beautiful Bally’s suite. This show talks about their Vegas adventures, meeting the hottest 38-year-old they’ve ever seen, doing comedy, gambling, ordering pizza, and so much more. The sound quality isn’t as good as our normal studio shows, but deal with it. [...]

NLO 783: Beerly Beloved
(Thu, 19 Apr 2012 06:54:25 +0000)  Patrick is doing a solo show today, and it’s super-sized to make up for no show on Monday. We talk about the new show merch, and Patrick tells about a can koozie fiasco that he is going through with the promotions company. Lots of callers. Patrick gets in to the Johnny B nonsense more than [...]

NLO 782: Texting Toni
(Sat, 14 Apr 2012 13:28:08 +0000)  JOSH DENNY is here, with former intern Shooby and fan Max. We’re drinking spirits and celebrating Friday the 13th. Watch out for spooks and killers out there, kids. We talk about Shooby being late, and how his teeth look like they’re escaping from his mouth. We talk about food trucks and Mexicans, as well as [...]

NLO 781: Virginiversary
(Thu, 12 Apr 2012 07:58:05 +0000)  RYE SILVERMAN and ALLI BREEN are in the studio today. Alli has Patrick all frazzled again by showing up seconds before the show begins. Patrick remember that he lost his virginity on this day, and tells the story. Rye indulges Patrick, Alli and fan Colin with questions about his cross dressing. We come up with [...]

NLO 780: Grill Yourself
(Wed, 11 Apr 2012 20:12:59 +0000)  KEN BARNARD is back in the studio. Also a fan is here from Miami. Patrick is getting death threats from the podiatrist fan from Friday, so this could be the last show ever. We also talk about other things, like, uh, well it’s hard to remember with the death threats looming and all. It’s hard [...]

NLO 779: Flappin
(Sun, 08 Apr 2012 05:37:36 +0000)  KATIE LEVINE and JOSH DENNY are in the studio, and Patrick is making Katie cringe because of all his anger and negativity. But you do it to yourselves, NLO fans. You do it to yourselves. In this show, Patrick has a crazy series of emails and interaction with yet another bonkers fan who is pissed [...]

NLO 778: Terrible Tacos
(Thu, 05 Apr 2012 11:36:33 +0000)  Hey it’s SEAN O’BRIEN in the studio for a nice, relaxed one-comic show and conversations with a normal person. Patrick isn’t happy with Sean’s choice of lunch spot, a shitty taco stand. We discuss the merits of tacos from different places. Patrick is getting frustrated by the new NLO Radio stream provider. YouTube sucks so [...]

NLO 777: False Alarm
(Tue, 03 Apr 2012 04:33:49 +0000)  What an awesome fun show today! CORNELL REID, TESS BARKER, and SCOTT BOWSER are in the studio and we are talking about so much it will make your head spin. Patrick loves hot showers and doesn’t care who knows it. Some nerd fans is calling in to plug an NLO Team Fortress 2 match. We [...]

NLO 776: jRobot
(Sat, 31 Mar 2012 12:01:41 +0000)  JOSH DENNY is back in the studio, and woah, this show gets real. I think we have a real friendship breakthrough therapy session. Also in the studio are fans Ben and Brendan, and Brendan brought Patrick some litter he painted with an NLO logo (it’s actually a cool painted bottle slash incense burner – and [...]

NLO 775: Circuit Shitty
(Thu, 29 Mar 2012 05:38:57 +0000)  Hey we have BRIAN KING in the studio, and we’re talking about an idiot who wrote a letter to Patrick before he was out of cranky-mode this morning, and he’s all yelling about it and stuff. Brian shows off his new tattoo, and offers up his suggestions for Patrick, along with another round of suggestions [...]

NLO 774: Movie Vagic
(Tue, 27 Mar 2012 06:54:09 +0000)  Comedian KEN BARNARD joins the show today, and we’re fresh off a matinee date to see the movie The Hunger Games in IMAX. People are upset that there are black characters in the movie, more angles to the Trayvon Martin case, and two college shooting over the weekend shed more light on how the media [...]

NLO 773: Taste the Hate Crime
(Sat, 24 Mar 2012 09:20:37 +0000)  Hey you! MIKE BRIDENSTINE is here, along with SHOOBY, and we’re talking a lot about racism, hate crimes and this big hullabaloo with Travon Martin, the kid show down in the street in Sanford, FL for walking home with Skittles and tea. Anderson Cooper has nice hair, Geraldo hates hoodies, and Patrick thinks he got [...]

NLO 772: Evolution
(Thu, 22 Mar 2012 11:02:46 +0000)  A solo show with Patrick, talking about the upcoming big trip to New York City in May, looming big announcements for the show, and much more. Patrick lectures you on how to film video with your phone, checks out a crazy black woman going nuts in a class at FAU in Florida, and contemplates what [...]

NLO 771: Casting Couch
(Tue, 20 Mar 2012 09:40:25 +0000)  ALLI BREEN is in the studio, and we’re talking about girls and what they are willing to do in auditions, reading your letters, taking your calls and more. We talk about our upcoming trip to NYC and try to hash out some of the logistical issues. Patrick has no energy and the show fizzles out [...]

NLO 770: Laugh
(Sat, 17 Mar 2012 10:44:49 +0000)  Comedian CORNELL REID is here for this ultra-hilarious show. Also a fan named Tino brings in beer and Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell. They’re great! Student found guilty of hate crime for invasions of privacy of gay roommate, guy behind the KONY 2012 video caught jerking it on to cars like a creep, Patrick [...]

NLO 769: Meet Gern Wadd
(Thu, 15 Mar 2012 08:49:32 +0000)  FLIP SCHULTZ and ALLI WEBER are in the studio! They are married and this podcast may or may not get a little sappy magoo magarnakle. What? Yea. Just listen. Patrick talks about recent shows in Texas, flying with a woman with horrendous body odor, and signing a girls panties in San Antonio. We had a [...]

NLO 768: Podcast Lessons
(Sat, 10 Mar 2012 23:58:07 +0000)  TOM SEGURA is in the studio, and tensions are high. Tom is looking for advice on microhones, chairs, software, and settings so he can make his podcast better. Patrick is sick of his shit and they go around and around. Patrick recaps his recent roast at the Hollywood Improv, including a story about a girl [...]

NLO 767: Kony and Karaoke
(Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:38:28 +0000)  Comedian BRANDIE POSEY and young Apple fanatic BRIAN KING are in the studio. We’re talking about the recent announcement of the new iPad, and what it has, and why everyone needs one. We talk about creepy fan Miles, Brian being uncircumcised, Dagre calls in, Patrick needs to write jokes for a roast tonight, Skittles singular [...]

NLO 766: Complaint Department
(Tue, 06 Mar 2012 07:39:13 +0000)  Solo show with Patrick today – kind of an inside baseball show. As one caller says, the show is all talk about food and fans. But sometimes that’s what you people need. More Anjeli Jana bashing, more calls from fans, good and bad, and we learn something about what Armenian people eat. One caller calls [...]

NLO 765: Return of Troll Pig
(Thu, 01 Mar 2012 09:23:42 +0000)  KATIE LEVINE and ALLI BREEN are here, cackling away like hens in a henhouse, and making Patrick fight for control of his own shit. Patrick gets an email from another listener who wants to move to Los Angeles and be an intern. Patrick gets a weird complaint from a fan who’s never done anything for [...]

NLO 764: Heavy Dooty
(Tue, 28 Feb 2012 19:41:26 +0000)  CHRIS FAIRBANKS is here and he’s giving us the low-down on whether Ellen seems like a nice person or not, and also offering up theories on how weird porno works. BRIAN KING is also in the studio, and we talk about the Oscars and tweeting, watch the most annoying baby commercial ever, and check in [...]

NLO 763: Cockfosters
(Sat, 25 Feb 2012 12:30:27 +0000)  MIKE BRIDENSTINE is in the studio and we’re talking about GoDaddy and how out-of-touch they are with what a hot girl looks like. Patrick realizes thirty minutes in that they haven’t been broadcasting live, we check in on Rebecca Black, worries about Judy the intern, Patrick calls some assisted living facilities to see if he [...]

NLO 760: Bad Advice
(Sun, 19 Feb 2012 11:15:07 +0000)  PATRICK flys solo for OVER FOUR HOURS in this late night show. Patrick pops open the Jameson and takes calls from listeners. He talks about the Overdose and what’s coming soon for subscribers, he gives credit advice likes some low-rent Suze Orman, and talks to tattoo artist Cory in Long Island about the show NY [...]

NLO 759: Pizza Proposal
(Thu, 16 Feb 2012 07:47:11 +0000)  JOSH DENNY and listener CHRIS are in the studio! Patrick tries to tie the knot using Pizza Hut’s Valentine’s Day promotion, there’s store order drama, tattoo talk, Creed talk, and more Judy failures. There’s also talk about how gays dress, and a crazy fan’s late night voicemails are played. Oh, and baseball equals corn.   [...]

NLO 758: Starbuckin’
(Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:32:38 +0000)  BRIAN KING, ALLI BREEN and the new intern JUDY are here! They talk about the Grammy’s, hitting women, and Brian’s deaf girlfriend. Other topics include abortion, equal rights, Valentine’s day, Whitney Houston, college comedy tours, and dishwasher confusion. Judy fails at buying a MacBook, and Alli has nice nips and lots of cake crumbs. This [...]

NLO 757: Parkour Couture
(Sat, 04 Feb 2012 11:50:07 +0000)  BRIAN KING is in the studio trying to cheer up sad Patrick, who is suicidal because of his current unfortunatisms, and some tax things and a lawsuit thing. Yeah, when it rains it pours. And when you eat raisins you snore. Patrick talks about his house in Forida, we watch people do the cinnamon challenge, [...]

NLO 756: The Iowa Corn
(Thu, 02 Feb 2012 08:12:40 +0000)  Patrick is rocking solo in the studio today, taking your calls and taking care of business. He talks about his current situation, shirt orders, Overdose, interns, donations and more. But don’t think that means there isn’t any funny. Patrick talks about getting a case of juice sent to him by a listener, and he single-handedly [...]

NLO 755: That’s Gay
(Tue, 31 Jan 2012 10:30:28 +0000)  JOSH DENNY is here and we’re trying to get back in to the pod swing of things. Patrick and Josh discuss the words “gay” and “faggot” in a serious context, and the use of those words to mean stupid or lame. There’s funny stuff, too, but it’s fun to talk about these things in a [...]

NLO 753: Sopapipas
(Fri, 20 Jan 2012 07:34:56 +0000)  BRIAN KING, SEAN and SHOOBY are in the studio, and it’s official SOPA/PIPA blackout day. Patrick gets a CB radio and it sucks. He’s mad about everything to do with it, and the only thing that can calm him down is some good old-fashioned iced tea. We revisit the No Cussing Club, and talk about [...]

NLO 752: Gympact
(Wed, 18 Jan 2012 09:37:52 +0000)  TOM SEGURA is in the studio and we’re having a blast. That’s right, kids! America’s POS in the house! We’re talking about a lot of things, as we do from time to time, but a lot of the focus in on how Patrick should try to get healthy this year. Patrick is teaching people how [...]

NLO 751: Beavage
(Sat, 14 Jan 2012 21:15:03 +0000)  Josh Denny and Shooby are in the studio for this extra-long show. Patrick has a lot of people to deal with this week, so he’s taken out the broom so he can start cleaning house. From a new listener who doesn’t get jokes, to some asshole on power trip on Reddit, Patrick is letting loose. [...]

NLO 750: Baked Backstrokes
(Thu, 12 Jan 2012 10:05:47 +0000)  Comedians Ryan Stout and Alli Breen are in the studio, and we’re talking about why the show is late. For some reason, we just couldn’t get off the ground on time today. Patrick reads letters from fans about health and home, and we explore a nuclear threat from some crazy lady on YouTube. Patrick plays [...]

NLO 749: Skyrim Job
(Tue, 10 Jan 2012 08:30:29 +0000)  We’ve got rapscallion Brian King in studio listening to Patrick’s post-traveling woes. Patrick hates planes and people and filmmakers. And sports and video games and virgins. And Hyundai’s and Harry potter and capes. Brian tells a story about using one of Patrick’s lines on a girl at a coffee shop. And the aftershow is SHOCKING! [...]

NLO 1: Christmas 2011 Marathon – Part 3
(Sat, 07 Jan 2012 17:55:48 +0000)  Flip Schultz is here, and Walter and Josh have gone to McDonald’s. On Christmas. Because they are giant pieces of shit. They get back and the four of them have a conversation that quickly evolves in to Patrick going for the Nutella to make himself up in to black face. He then sings negro spirituals [...]

NLO 1: Christmas 2011 Marathon – Part 2
(Thu, 05 Jan 2012 09:29:33 +0000)  Patrick continues the Marathon Show after a technical glitch with the live stream. Patrick talks about Shooby leaving the country with his PO box key and then mailing it and losing it. Patrick is upset who people who don’t know what to focus on. Patrick gets photoshopped in to a gay scene with Josh. They [...]

NLO 748: Banging Mermaids
(Tue, 03 Jan 2012 11:46:30 +0000)  Comedian Brooks Wheelan and good-time-girl Katie Levine sit in on today’s show. We’re talking about our New Years resolutions, recent arson fires in Los Angeles, restaurants with home refrigerators that sell Coke in a can, a punchable gay kid, studio audio problems, and a crazy woman at the post office. It’s our first show of [...]

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